An Adoptee's Wicked and Hilarious Search For Identity and LoveSatisfaction:
I was nearly famous, but that is another story for my next autobiography. This is the true story of my reckless, adulterous, drunken life in the radio and record business, from rural Cape Breton Island to Nashville and Hollywood as I attempted to discover the identity of two women that I desperately needed to find. One was my elusive birth mother and the other, the perfect angelic, sexy, wild woman of my dreams. My search through multiple marriages and shocking affairs ended with more surprises than I had anticipated.
My childhood was unique and likely left me with mental scars. After all, how many kids get to help place their uncle in a coffin...and then take him back out again? Then, there was the guy who essentially “decomposed” in my bed. What really screwed up was having to sleep on that same stained mattress. No wonder I drank rubbing alcohol after school.
I attempted to avoid writing a dry memoir. This is a story…almost like a novel, with a climax. Actually, there are a number of climaxes in this story, like during my ill-advised affair with the sheriff’s wife and the date with a killer.
You may find it fall-down funny, or you may weep, or both. There is a chance you may demand my stoning in the town square. On the positive side, you could consider this book a self-help manual, with a litany of hazards to avoid.
Because I am a radio guy and a voice actor, I chose to be my own narrator. Besides, I saved a few thousand dollars.